To be totally honest, I do not actually feel like a special needs Mom.
I know I am, I just don’t feel like it.
I came to terms with this a while back. Yes, It was difficult, I thought I couldn’t do it, I felt like I had no option…..I had to do it anyway. It was hard. I try not to label her, however I do feel since I began to come to terms with it and acknowledge to people that yes I have a special needs Preschooler……I feel that she is received better, Really I feel the questions are easier on ME.
That statement alone used to make me feel bad, and I honestly have NO idea why?
I knew she needed more – more what? I wasn’t quite sure of, but more of something. I didn’t quit until things started to make sense. I still do not have a why; or to be real, no idea if I even want or need one anymore.
Once we started to pinpoint some of the exact problems she was having and some tools on how we could actually help her….slowly we (Our support) were finally able to help her, help us, help each other.
Our journey is far from over, We know…..and that’s OK. It used to feel like this gigantic mountain. It was very steep, cold, very hard to climb and no end in sight.
NOW… It has evened out and our view is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING, Even though I have no idea where the next stages of our life might take us, It doesn’t seem impossible….anymore.
I have compiled a list of things that I wish I had know….As a special needs Mom
1. Trust your gut. The feelings we have as Mothers are there for a reason, and a good reason at that. If you FEEL like there is more —– There probably is! DO NOT GIVE UP!
2. You are what your child needs. You are doing what you can to help, things are going to get better.
3. Not everyone will understand. This one kinda sucks, I know. I wish there was a magic something to help people understand.
4. You are your childs safe place. Mom is the one who gets it the most, the worst too at times.
5. The pride I feel in my childs accomplishments also feel like my own. Every day we find new ways to help us get through the days, and every single day it gets better.
I try to not compare our journey with other Moms, but the #1 thing this journey has taught me this far is…..
Not to judge other Moms
It is true that you never actually know what someone else is going through. UNTIL YOU GO THROUGH IT YOURSELF.
Believe me, no one is wishing that upon you. Try to remember that you have NO idea what her morning, night or day might look like. My daughter doesn’t look like she has as special needs, so people always assume she just has behavioral problems.
I know our journeys are each unique, I know my daughter grows and changes every day. There are a million ways that she has improved and it saddens me to know that I only actually notice her progress through Facebook memories or the posts that other Moms post in her sensory group page; Some of these stories I could have written myself. In these moments with tears running down my face when I can feel other mamas pain do I actually feel the progress.